Visitors

Visitors. It amazes me how intimately God can touch us. When we cry out for flesh and blood comfort. I'm lonely for touch, and just when I hand that over to Him, He satisfies that need, sometimes even before I need it. My friend Pammie from California came to visit for a few days. Oh how precious it was to see her! We cried together but more importantly we laughed, deeply, unbinding, as if we were carefree, just girls laughing at a slumber party. She made us dance and listen to music, she cooked with Carmel and made us eat and taste and awaken if just for a moment parts of us that pain and grief had put to sleep.

Last time she was here was soon after Naomi died and she did the same thing. She encouraged me to run, I had never run before and within a year I ran five marathons! I have now ran 13 marathons in the last six years. That is what Pammie does for me.....She leaves behind part of herself, making me feel strong, courageous and yes even attractive! I look at myself and see this shell shocked 42 year old woman, she looked at me and saw beauty. Not just physical beauty, but inner beauty, bathed in the radiant light of heaven. I could for just a moment get a little glimpse of our future and I wasn't so scared. Like looking at the edge of a cliff while someone strong holds your hand.

I wept when she left, but was glad that she had come. I'm a little less broken, and what I see in the mirror is not as bad as I thought. Tonight the girls and I are going rock climbing, again one of Pammie's ideas, maybe I'll take this to the extreme too and climb mountains.....for now I'll settle for the one I'm climbing knowing that I can and will reach the top....I'm stronger than I was a few days ago.