Sons

"Death is not extinguishing the light, it is simply turning off the lamp because the dawn has arrived." The Sisters of Our Lady of Perpetual Help

Well, Ron may be enjoying Gods light but I'm still in the dark when it comes to certain things, especially sons. I only have one and one already almost raised, but I'm still having to give advise and listen. I realize that I'm not as good of a father as Ron, after all I'm only his mother! I tend to be very impatient with him. This is when I need Ron, to talk to Jonathan and fix it! Not that Jonathan needs fixing, just another male to encourage him. I was told today that dad was a better listener. Ouch! Just when I was starting to get a handle on things God reminded me that the road ahead is going to be a long one and just because my son is soon to be 21 doesn't mean he doesn't need a dad anymore. I was less concerned with him out of all the kids. The girls have been more emotional and able to talk about how they're feeling. Jonathan has been quiet and pensive and busy with school, ministry and his girlfriend. But deep inside he too was suffering the loss. When he finally came up and talked to me, all came undone and we had some very real words. I must be patient with him and with myself. We are both learning to live without dad.

My two older kids are very different and can't be compared. They have different strengths and weakness yet I tend to fail to see Jonathan strengths. He is older and I expect more, why? I don't know. Perhaps because at his age I was already on my own and not making quite the right decisions. I want what is best for both and today I realized that it has to be Gods best not mine. I will pray for him more diligently, listen more carefully and trust him completely into His hands. After all He tell me He is the Father to the orphans.