Defenseless

"Other refuge I have none,
hangs my helpless soul on thee;
leave, ah! Leave me not alone,
still support and comfort me.
All my trust on thee is stayed,
all my help from thee I bring,
cover my defenseless head
with the shadow of thy wing."
Jesus, Lover of My Soul

Defenseless, that is the new feeling we four girls are experiencing. We didn't realize how safe and protected we felt when Ron was alive. How we took for granted the peace we felt when we laid our heads down every night. We never even locked our doors, just knowing that he slept beside me was comfort enough. All we took for granted, how strange that now we are so vulnerable. I lock and check the doors every night and the girls follow me around to make sure I didn't miss anything. The dog is brought in and we lay down to pray, but that feeling of abandon peace is gone. We trust Him now, but as Abigail comments we can't see Him, and sometimes He doesn't seem to be there. How do you teach young children to trust His presence when you feel defenseless in the midst of the storm? I have had to go back to basics and read the Word. The things I know to be true, what I have heard in church and Sunday school, I need to hear again and again. We are reading together the Psalms before we pray. We are learning to exercise faith, to trust and believe even when we fail to see and feel protected. How can a God who loves us so much take away so much from us, and there is where we go back to basics. We deserve nothing and that we had so much is a blessing. We unworthy, unclean ones, whom He gave so much to save that we might become His, so that we can lay our heads and know that He does truly cover our heads with the shadow of His wing.